The Greatest Story Never Told
papamoi wants to mine bitcoins, and badly. In March he started asking around for info on some serious butt-mining hardware, looking for ASIC arrays and “super servers” that would feed his need for unbridled wastefulness. BFL wasn’t shipping, Avalon was only sending out orders in batches, and nobody else was producing comparable hardware, and his search had him running in unfulfilling circles until he found Liquid Nitrogen Overclocking.
Our story’s hero pestered the guys at Liquid Nitrogen Overclocking about building a custom mining server, and they responded that they could build him something that provided 1.7 terahashes of bitcoin-mining waste. Of course, he wanted proof, and they gave him the run-around several times, responding with jargon, claims of NDAs, and even appearing to confuse gigahashes with gigahertz. All the while papamoi has been scouring the BitcoinTalk forums for chips, PCB designers, and other high-performance hardware, to no avail.
Our intrepid hero was put off, but then the Liquid Nitrogen Overclocking team said the magic word: “Google.” Apparently Google has been buying “super servers” from Ed Trice in Philadelphia, instead of major, well-known manufacturers such as Dell, HP, or IBM. Lured in by the promise of amazing Google-caliber hardware, papamoi continued, and was surely happy to find that Google was totally cool with the fellows at Liquid Nitrogen selling some pubbie their exclusively designed servers.
The sound of Buttcoin
We’ve been so focused on the catastrophic crash of bitcoin that we’ve neglected to bring you some of the finest art that both the bitcoin and buttcoin worlds have to provide.
First, we bring you a labor of love from the SA forums:
Listen to Buttcoin
Be sure to check out the fantastic Cosby mode!
Now that we’re done with the good, on with the bad!
The best Buttcoin tweets
Choice cuts of butts here:
i am nude, shaved, & ready to be submerged within the digital chrysalis where i will generate bigcoins by doing ki warrior poses until i die
— wint (@dril) April 9, 2013
“Here, kid.” you say, flipping the urchin a bitcoin. It’s a large server and you’ve actually thrown it at the child. A woman screams.
— Dan (@dankmtl) April 9, 2013
Oh you’re still into Bitcoin yeah I guess they’re ok, I’m more into Litecoin and Namecoin, they’re a bit more indie, but yah Bitcoin’s cool.
— Andrew (@bn2b) April 9, 2013
2905: Scholars say the ancient Fedorite used to place a ‘bitcoin’ under his tongue to gain passage into the Underworld they called ‘Reddit’
— Rei_ (@Random_Factor) April 7, 2013
Lemme cut to the chase here: Can I use bitcoin to buy drugs? Okay, super. Why isn’t that the only question on your Q&A?
— Brock Wilbur (@brockwilbur) April 7, 2013
Bitcoin: Why do you hate freedom?
The thread in question is here on MetaFilter, wherein a Bitcoiner posts a link to the Bitcoiner blog inexplicably hosted on Forbes’ website. And we’re sure “FreeToEvolve” would gladly pay to join in the discussion if they accepted his favorite Ron Paul Funbux instead of filthy fiat Dollars.
What would you do for a Bitcoin?
What horrible things would you be willing to do just to get some free “money?” Let’s find out!
I’m concerned that it would only take five bucks to convince a guy to do this.
Nobody wants to be your friend if you’re into Bitcoins.
The Buttgem
ATTENTION: BUTTCOIN.ORG HAS STOLEN THE BITGEM
IT IS NOW THE BUTTGEM. WE WILL ONLY RELEASE IT FOR ONE MILLION COSBYCOINS, ASSOCIATION WITH KIM DOTCOM, AND ONE MOVIE THEATER SERVING 20 VARIETIES OF SODA AND SHOWING FAN-MADE EPISODES OF DISNEY’S “TALESPIN.”
IF YOU DO NOT MEET OUR DEMANDS, WE WILL DELETE THIS WALLET WITHOUT MAKING A BACKUP.
This is what Bitcoiners actually believe
Following are dozens of quotes, mostly dredged from reddit and Bitcointalk.
- Sure, but it beats verifying all the transactions by hand like they did in the old days of quaint paper money, hahaha those poor bastards with their ”cash registers” and shillings and whatnot.
- I love this. People who try to make points like this against bitcoin don’t seem to realize how infantile cash and banking systems are in comparison.
- this is governments going OMG/WTF bitcoin is real–it’s a strong currency in the midst of our little currency war. All currencies are competing to devalue, simultaneously. BTC isn’t. This is like prohibition; as soon as inflation picks up, the masses will come.
- Using Xbox or PS3 to mine coins? Anybody tried this before? I know their GPU’s aren’t top of the line, but for people like me who don’t game much they could be going to much better use.
- I don’t think we are near the peak either. It’s fascinating to watch bitcoin grow, evolve and get its financial tentacles all over things.
bASIC overheats, releases magic smoke
Last night Tom from bASIC, “Next generation Bitcoin mining hardware” built in his garage, blew a gasket:
these type of threads are BULLSHIT
we have always honored our refund requests but a thread like this basically just kills my business
Ask yourself this question:
Do you want a nice friendly refund as we have been giving or do you want to completely put me out of business?
because if you completely put me out of business than you are going to have to come to NY to take me to small claims court.
ask yourself this question, do you really want to come to NY to take me to small claims court? or do you just want to wait your turn and quietly get your requested refund as hundreds of people already have. Keep with the mob mentality its only going to keep you separated from your money longer.
this thread is bad for anyone seeking a refund, and the mods need to take notice and remove threads such as this.
HELLO CUSTOMERS
this is not good for you. Please stop.im reporting this to the mods myself – I encourage others to do the same.
-Tom
This occurred throughout multiple threads on the Bitcointalk forums.
